My personal experience of losing my mother.... How I passed through my trying time and my views about Grief Reaction.

PART ONE OF THE ARTICLE I PUBLISHED IN FACE BOOK, WHICH GOT A LOT OF POSITIVE REVIEWS

Trust me,there cant be a worse time than losing ones mother. Not many hav come out of it successfully.My profession being medicine i can say wit some authenticity that its not an uncommon sight to see a depression patient in the Psychiatry ward, whose cause of ailment had been loss of one or both parents.

I lost my mother in the month of october.I had read about the 'grief reaction' in the text books.but not much of a study is done in the field.but when i passed through it i realised how little we know of the minds game.

Its said, you are what you think you are.that s very true.Let me give u a precise but efficient way of tackling this problem.And having a medical overview into it, helped me cope with the immediate stressor.I would like to share it with you and if it will help someone who is in need,then the purpose of my writing,is served.

Step 1.shock/indifference/reluctance to accept the facts.

This is a stage when mind tries to figure out reasons why this cant be true.' no this can never happen'.'not possible, because just today she said she will be back from work and we shall go for shopping.and she never disappoints me'.This is how the mind adapts to a sudden misfortune.In this stage, the mind has partly accepted the reality but it is unwilling to accept the fact and comprehension of the saddest event requires reasoning,which the person lacks at the moment.

Step 2.anger/resentment/violent outbursts/questioning/temper tantrums.

Like i hav put it, it can vary from being just angry to being totally hysteric.It is in this stage that one feels ' why me?' 'what hav i wronged to hav this fate'.or 'how irresponsible could he/she be? How could they just go without even thinking of me?''had i done tat, this would not have happened.'and so on.But there is no end to it.if u are consoling anyone,the best method is to tell them the truth about the demise of their dear one and letting them 

accept the same,at the earliest and assuring them that its life and they had to move on.(to be continued soon)

DR VIBHA